Easter means Freedom

Easter means freedom. Freedom from...

1) Empty pursuits: No need to figure out our purpose in life. The resurrection shows us that our purpose is to live a divine driven life! Give up our empty pursuits. Our life needs to be rooted in Him, in He which is eternal. I can't put my trust in people. Nothing else will bring true fulfillment than doing the will of God.

2) Adamic guilt: We started out wrong. Jesus will get us right. We were born in sin. Jesus took that guilt away from us, we don't have to carry it with us anymore. Great exchange of his righteousness for my sin.

3) Spiritual death: Result of adamic guilt, we become the living dead. Living in a state of spiritual death. We bare the nature of Adam, a self-centered, egocentric life.

4) Eternal Damnation: Those who reject Him will suffer from eternal damnation. Jesus gives us freedom from eternal damnation, from hell. We don't need to worry about eternal damnation. God through Christ has done everything possible to lift us out of eternal damnation. Don't blame God if we reject Him.

5) Reservations about the future: Jesus came to say "you don't have to worry." The curse of sin is all around us, but we don't have to worry. We know who holds the future, Jesus Christ. The world is suppose to get worse and worse before Christ comes. God is our refuge, and He is our strength! Although we do not know what the future holds, we know who holds the future.

Kingdom

"But what, then is the kingdom of God? Where is it found?

It is found in every time an offense is forgiven, every time a stranger is made welcome, every time an enemy is embraced, every time the least among us is lifted up, every time the law is made to serve justice, every time a prophetic voice is raised against injustice, every time the law and the prophets are summed up by love.

From time to time, the figures of Jesus, or fragments of his figure, appear here or there in individual lives, showing up sometimes in people who burn with a prophetic passion, sometimes in people of inordinate compassion and forgiveness. When this happen, we are likely to mistake such people  as mad or weak, which in a sense they are--mad with the folly of the cross, weak with the weakness of God."

John D. Caputo

What would Jesus Deconstruct

Whispers..

At the sound of His whisper,
Oceans will part,
Nations come.

The absolute sovereignty of God. Something that our humans minds can't even comprehend. The power of God. Sometimes I grow obviousness to this fact, that in an instant, God can crush this Earth. His voice will cause the mountains to jump, the wave of His hand can turn deserts into rain forests. His created the entire universe only so that we, His children, have light during the night, that there is proof of His love for us in the stars.

And yet even though I know I'm His child, and that He loves me more than all the stars in the sky, I fail to realize that this sovereign is there for me. He works FOR me, not against. The only person working against me, is me. My own inner demons who try to drag me down, who try to distance myself from God.

What is there to fear? Who is there to fear? The GOD of the UNIVERSE loves me. He is right next to me every morning, he walks with me on campus, he comforts me when I'm down.

The God of the Universe is next to me, hearing my pains and struggles, talking to his child, and I'm the one not listening.

He has blessed me with amazing friends, parents who love me unconditionally, family who I can count on all ways, and a life which can make a difference.

Lord forgive me for being selfish here on Earth, teach me your ways, give me Your heart.

Decision making and stuff

Hey guys, it's been awhile since I've been on here :P I feel bad that I haven't been as regular at Haven as I'd like to :/ I should be writing my paper right now, but it feels like a huge monster right now, and I'm not ready to conquer it. Plus there's something I need to get let out and prayed for. Here it goes.

As I think most of you know, I LOVE ministry. Pulse has seriously changed my life. Every time I serve I get so much joy and energy. The problem with me is I have a hard time saying no :/ I used to think saying no to people is easy. But when it's about something you really want to do, it's a whole other story. Like I know I have no time at all, but I'll commit to doing this ministry thing anyways :P "Somehow God will make it work". When that happens, sleep usually becomes a luxury.

So for the past year I have been working closely with Robby on ministry stuff, specifically UIC. Like the UIC retreat, Porn Nation etc... Robby is probably the most amazing student leaders I have ever met. Robby is graduating at the end of Fall 09'. I kind of saw it coming, but basically now UIC people are looking at me to take over as UIC coordinator. When I first started working with Robby last spring I was super excited about it, and I kinda had in mind that I would take over. I was totally fine with it. Now they have unofficially asked me to "take over". Now I'm kinda freaking out. I would love to do it, but man... That thing is a MONSTER! It is HUGE! This will probably be one of the biggest decisions I have taken ever. I'm really scared to do a crappy job. Robby has set really High expectations. I'm not Robby, and I'm not trying to be, but there's going to be a lot expected out of me if I make the decision to go for it. Please pray for me! I don't know when they really need to know. I'm hoping not until fall semester. The thing is I'm the only other dude that has the passion for it, or has even worked close enough with robby to do this. I don't even know if they have a second pick!

If i decide to go for it, it means I will be a lot less available when UIC stuff comes up. Someone told me that he heard some people already saying I was going to be the next UIC coordinator (even though I haven't said yes) and that I was going to be quitting Pulse. If you hear that, please tell that person to SHUT UP! That would be like disowning my own family. There is no way I am stepping out of Pulse, and Core. I love you guys too much. (except eric)

Please pray for me, that I would be at peace with this decision. That God would open and close doors for me and make it clear of what I need to do. If I do accept, I'll have a ton of other prayer request for you guys :)

An Update

So I finally got admitted as a full-time student for Fall 2009. It's been a hard journey, putting up with the administration and constant obstacles that put me through two semesters of taking classes as an open-university student. What scares me is that after a year of taking only 2-3 classes per semester, I will not be mentally ready handling a whole line-up of classes, perhaps even back-to-back schedule. Furthermore, I have a feeling that my current semester grades will be evaluated. What if they take back my admission? My English 1B class is killing me - no, let me correct that, 7:30 is killing me. I have not been successful in waking up for that class for the past several weeks. Today was the first time I managed to attend the class. I have missed an in-class essay and gotten C's on my second and third out-of-class essays. I really need to recover in that class, but I have a feeling the damage is already sinking in.

Nevertheless, I would say this semester has been good for the past weeks. Pulse has been good. My friends have been good. God has been good! It's interesting and exciting to see God constantly hinting me that I could be so much more than I think I am capable of.

I also want to share something I was learning about through devotional last week in Compton. Psalm 91 talks about God protecting us, the faithful ones, the believing ones, from the enemies' arrows and sending his angels to guard us and to prevent us from falling, yet it's so easy to interpret this as a statement that as long as we are believers, God will protect us from harm and sufferings, and that only non-believers suffer. That is exactly the perspective Satan wishes us to keep in our heads. Just like how the devil tempted Jesus in the desert by telling him to call upon the angels to save him should he throw himself down from the cliff, Satan wants us to believe that we are invicinble with God by our side. Yet, as many of us already know, we go through obstacles and hardship. We lose loved ones, we lose jobs, we get hurt, and the list goes on. We may wonder why God allows this, or if He is the one orchestrating these events. Just remember this: God doesn't tempt us or brings suffering. Satan is the one who does that, at the consent of God! Satan roams here on earth, yet he still needs permission from God to tempt us. Isn't that mysterious? It's all part of God's design. God doesn't tempt us, but he does allow us to go through trials, in hopes we may perservere in His name and grow closer to Him.

We are to praise Him under all circumstance, and that's the wonder of His love.

Why Am I Here?

Why are we here on earth?

We were created. But why?

We have a purpose. What is it?

Ask God, He'll tell you. Just remember to listen.

There have been many times in my life where I've pondered why am I here? What is it that God wants me to do with my life? I always try to answer my own questions from time to time. Am I supposed to help people by being a nurse? Should I try to become some sort of relationship counselor? Always constantly trying to figure out on my own what God wants me to do. The funny thing is that only recently have I been asking Him myself. The more I ask Him, the more I see. I'm in a situation where I find health to be extremely important. I know that God's given me a new heart for others, I freaking love people. So right now, I trust God with my path. I know that no matter what happens, as long as I feel like I'm doing the right thing, God will bless me, because I know I'm doing this for Him.

And Psalm 37:4 says: Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

So don't worry. God's got your back. Praise God for the blessings that you've received today, even thought they may be tiny like finding a parking spot, or huge, like realizing that you're more loved that you ever thought possible.

A good life, but a hard life.

I know that God is good. I know that if it's God's will, it will be done. At least, that's what I am starting to grasp. But I want more than to just know it. I really want to acknowledge it completely, for all the areas of my life. The hardest area to apply that knowledge is relationships. How surprising, no?

Things have been great ever since I talked with her few weeks back. I have my close friend back and we are sharing like we used to. I am doing my best right now to focus on that friendship itself and to help build her up to be a woman of God. She's an amazing Sister in Christ who is constantly hungering after Him, even if her steps are small.

What's difficult is knowing that her decisions for a future relationship is all God's will... that the one she ends up choosing is all in God's hands. To be bluntly put, it makes me wonder if I'll have that chance again in the future. If I wait so long, will I miss my chance? Yet, that's exactly what God doesn't want me to think. I'm sure He doesn't want me to wonder so far ahead and question His plans. At the same time, I'm really hoping He knows those feelings that were in my heart. She has liked me once, and lately I was yearning to know if those feelings were authentic, or was it just a spur of the moment? Did she take it back because she realized it was a mistake, or is she just trying to do the mature thing and grow? That is the one question I wish I could have asked her back then, but I know sometimes it's best not to know the answer to a question. Instead, it's even better to be surprised by what God has in store for me.

Most of the time I am satisfied with the way things are between the two of us. In fact, a lot of times I am thankful that God's allowing me to Brother to her, a walking stone, a witness to her ups and downs. I really do want to see her grow. She's got a lot of potentials. Sometimes, however, the things I want to do to help her can't be done simply because I am not in a relationship with her. I know I need to be extra careful not to tread on the boundaries.

All in all, I'm continuing to strive to have selfless faith. I am constantly reminding myself to take this time of being single as a blessing, a time to grow and to find, pursue, and achieve my Passion & Purpose.

I wish for more, but I'm glad God has power over my life right now. If I have authority over my own life right now, it'd be constantly hitting the gutters and making rash decisions and mistakes.

'Tis a hard journey!!!