Something big is gonna happen...

And when it does I'll post about it.

God speaking or Terrible Luck?

Ok so I shared last time that I believed that I was sick for a purpose. God is trying to bring me back to him and giving me time to spend with him. In the past few months I have definitely felt a gap between me and God, but never really did anything about it.

Well I made an effort in the last 2 or 3 weeks to spend more time in the word. And guess what? I got a LOT better!! Not quite 100%, but very close. And guess what next, I started straying away from God again, not reading anymore and giving in to temptation (if you guys know what I'm talking about... :/ ) Anyways, I strayed from God, AGAIN... And Guess What?! I just got a cold and feel like crap again! I haven't had a day of good health since January 3rd.

I have definitely seen the connection there between my health and my relationship with God. I don't think it's that I have terrible luck :P

Please keep me accountable, and pray for me. I want to be back in his total presence and good health.

The Start of Something Great

The fellowship of Haven is awesome and strong. Bible studies will go farther than we ever have before.

Be prepared on Tuesday for some open-dialogue about our deepest struggles. Together, God willingly, we will improve and mature. When this semester ends, the Haven men will look back and say, "Yah, that was one memorable semester."

Take refuge with Haven. We got yo' back.

Empty

Life has been a roller coaster for me the past few months. I broke up with my girlfriend before finals last semester so my holiday season kinda sucked, but at the same time it was pretty awesome. It was so great to see old friends again and just to spend time with them. Also hanging out with people from Pulse always helped. But I guess I've been running away from the problem for a while that I never really faced it.

I am suffering from loneliness. And although I've talked to many others about it, I still struggle with it. I'm a big heart guy, so relationships is where I feel like I really grow and bloom. But without one I'm kinda emo when I'm by myself. I know that I don't need a girlfriend. In fact I'm not even sure I want one. But hey if God wants to bless me with one that's awesome. I'm not gonna try for a while.

I guess I've been trying to fill a void of just friends and family. But I should start filling it up with God. God has been great to me these past few months. I've never really felt depressed and was always surrounded by loved ones. So I guess I'm just slowly trudging through. But you know what, that's ok. Because eventually I'll be able to walk tall again. But gotta let the wounds heal.

ouch!

I think I'm gunna have a hard time hiding my identity with FunkyTimmy as an ID, and I don't think I'd be able to share much without revealing my identity anyways. So here I go, this is Tim C.

I've now been sick for 1.5 months. It sucks, terribly. I've been put on medication, to then get in worse condition. I feel useless because I always need to stay home and rest. I feel like I'm not involved as much as I want to be and it's frustrating the heck out of me. I've been used to doing so much for the last year and a half. Now I feel like a potato.

My original reaction was, hey! This'll spice up my life a little. It soon changed to, What the Heck God?! A lot of bitterness and angriness has come out of me in the last weeks and I apologize if I hurt anyone in anyway. Lately I've just been careless about what i think and what comes out of my  mouth. Seems like there used to be a filter between these two.

I thought for awhile that this was punishment from God. Then I realized this is that i needed something like this to be shaken up. P. Stiddy told me: "You know Tim, this is a spiritual Battle. The only thing that could stop you from serving is your Health. Not school, not work"

My first reaction was, ok maybe I should focus more on school :P But then I realized something. My health is the only thing that could stop me. I don't think it's a battle, but I think God is trying to pull me aside. To be honest, I have not been very proactive with my relationship with God in the past 6 months. I've actually been an idiot. Now God has brought me down to a new low in my life, with an incredible amount of free time. This is a time for me to reconnect and redevelop my relationship with God. It's kinda of a stretch, but this is almost a gift from God.

Pray that I become more faithful to him and that I pursue my relationship with him as much as i pursue serving him.

Side note, I don't know if any of you were praying for me, but I was in terrible pain on monday, and out of nowhere I felt 80% better within 2 minutes. Kind of incredible. I still feel great! PTL!

Sorry if I write long notes...

Idolitry

What P. Stiddy (Pastor Steve) said last night really hit close to home. I admit that many times I've placed things and people above God. Usually in those situations, God takes those things away from me because of one reason: He is a jealous God and desperately wants us to love Him. Think about that. Someone who loves you so much that once they know they're not the first in your life, He fights until He's number 1 again.

What Do You Want To Know?

I like the code names so far. I really do.

OK! So to business.

So far here are some of the topics that you guys told me the other night as to what you would like to 'study' in the small group. They mostly have to do with what a young man struggles with.

Dating (Girls. If you want to know about guys...we need to talk to you out of love)
Relationships (Godly and Worldly)
Being a Man of God
How to Be A Leader
Lust/Every Man's Struggle
Faith/Compassion for Men
Brotherly Love/Community
Guarding Your Heart and Hearts of Others


Let me know if you guys want more or you wanna change it up. This is in no way final just a way to toss it out.

Please. I urge you guys to at least check this once a day. Put it on your quick bar. Mine is inbetween facebook and gmail so..I will definitely post every day. I also have another blog which I post....but you'll have to find out about that one later.