I've now been sick for 1.5 months. It sucks, terribly. I've been put on medication, to then get in worse condition. I feel useless because I always need to stay home and rest. I feel like I'm not involved as much as I want to be and it's frustrating the heck out of me. I've been used to doing so much for the last year and a half. Now I feel like a potato.
My original reaction was, hey! This'll spice up my life a little. It soon changed to, What the Heck God?! A lot of bitterness and angriness has come out of me in the last weeks and I apologize if I hurt anyone in anyway. Lately I've just been careless about what i think and what comes out of my mouth. Seems like there used to be a filter between these two.
I thought for awhile that this was punishment from God. Then I realized this is that i needed something like this to be shaken up. P. Stiddy told me: "You know Tim, this is a spiritual Battle. The only thing that could stop you from serving is your Health. Not school, not work"
My first reaction was, ok maybe I should focus more on school :P But then I realized something. My health is the only thing that could stop me. I don't think it's a battle, but I think God is trying to pull me aside. To be honest, I have not been very proactive with my relationship with God in the past 6 months. I've actually been an idiot. Now God has brought me down to a new low in my life, with an incredible amount of free time. This is a time for me to reconnect and redevelop my relationship with God. It's kinda of a stretch, but this is almost a gift from God.
Pray that I become more faithful to him and that I pursue my relationship with him as much as i pursue serving him.
Side note, I don't know if any of you were praying for me, but I was in terrible pain on monday, and out of nowhere I felt 80% better within 2 minutes. Kind of incredible. I still feel great! PTL!
Sorry if I write long notes...
Awesome to hear that you're doing better. I do feel like I've been a bit too busy with life myself, gotta tone it down, lock it down, and write it up. Gotta reconnect with God. I hope that you'll feel 100% today. Take care buddy.
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