Drop It Like It's Hot

And that is what I plan to do. I told you guys something big was gonna happen and it did. It happened last night and up until that point it's been killing me to keep it in. So buckle up and enjoy the ride, because this is gonna go deep.

I guess you can say it all started in December, when I broke up with my ex-girlfriend. Yeah I was sad. After being with someone for so long you're bound to be sad when you break up with them. But God blessed me and the break-up actually went very well. I saw that my ex was not the girl God had in mind for me and I felt the He truly rewarded me for my decision. I was never caught in depression and only saw the blessings God gave me through my loneliness.

Now I started hanging out a lot with close friends and new ones. One of them was a female which I thought to be significantly more attractive than anyone else. She's Pretty =). Anyways. I didn't think much about it at the time. I was more focused on the fact that my spiritual life was going down the tubes, and I needed to save it. I devoted a lot of my newly found time with God. I surrounded myself with Christian friends and community and found that I was growing a lot with God.

So then school started. Ah, dreadful school. Because one of my friends had graduated the semester before, I was quite afraid that my days spent on the campus would be lonely due to the fact that I neglected many relationships in the previous semester. I spent so much time with my ex that I failed to grow and nurture new relationships. But this girl which I found to be attractive started to offer me companionship. We started studying together at school and just talk about life, relationships, and even love.

I didn't even see the pothole coming. Here I am walking through my life, trying to get through, and I start trippin' on potholes. Potholes = girls. Well I started trippin' over this girl. I started to think about her a lot. I started to notice just how pretty she was. And I started to realize that I was in trouble. I started to freak out. This girl and I started to have a great friendship and I didn't wanna screw it up! Her friendship weighs more than the potential of starting a relationship. So what did I do? I told her that I was attracted to her. Because she was such a great friend, I wanted to be completely honest with her. This is what I felt at that time: I'm attracted to you. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Our friendship is stronger then that. And things didn't change at all. Being such a great person she saw where I was coming from. And our friendship continued...

But that's not all.


Something else happened.


I started to like her. Even though I told myself not to. Her smile will brighten up my day. When I hear her voice I can't help but give her my full attention. So...what did I do? I started to talk to all the wise men I knew. What to do about my feelings? What to do about my situation? One thing that I knew I had to do was talk to P. Stiddy. That guy is so full of wisdom that his insight should always been sought out.

So, after talking to everyone I came up with this: Tell her the truth.

So I told her.

I told her I liked her, but I knew that I wasn't ready for a relationship. I wanted my spiritual life to grow. I wanted to make sure that in my next relationship I would be strong enough in my faith to be the spiritual leader. To be able to guide me and my future wife towards God, and place Him in the middle of our love. She felt the exact same way, she was looking out for me. She said the idea of me crossed her mind, but that she saw how my spiritual growth hasn't really stopped. So we decided. Yeah. I like her. Yeah I want to grow more in God. And you know what? God's gonna take care of the rest.