My Faith

Where shall I start.... well lately this past year ever since I've been going to Pulse, I felt reconnected with God. But at the same time, I feel like I don't really know where I stand with God anymore. Ever since I broke away from God last year, things haven't really been the same.

Sometimes I do certain things just because it seems like the "right" thing to do like serving on the leadership team or various God-related stuff. I don't know if my heart is even there for the things that I do. I really want to stay on top with God, but at the same time I feel like I can't. Maybe I lost the heart and passion that God once instilled in me. I keep trying to rekindle that passion, but nothing seems to flow. When I try to read His word, nothing really sticks out. Even during bible study or something like that, I can probably interpret what God might be trying to say, but I don't even know if that's what I'm really thinking or if that's what God's really trying to say to me.

Often times I happen to fall into the pits of sin. It doesn't phase me. I don't even feel the pain that God feels when I sin. Lust has taken its toll on me and I keep falling back in to the same cycle over and over again and sometimes I don't even feel sorry what I did. Ugh, it drives me crazy because it's like I'm living a double life. I just really hope God convicts me and changes my old ways.