1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I prayed. I talked to my Brothers and Sisters. My heart grew restless as the week came to an end. The first attempt went poorly. My mum and brother strongly advised against the trip to Compton and gave me very little hope. I felt it was a defeat in a spiritual battle.

That was approximately three weeks ago. Throughout this week I had been constantly thinking about the trip, about whether or not God is wanting me to go. My heart kept feeling some sort of conviction to go. As the week drew close to an end, my heart felt so strong about making that decision for myself. Growing up, I never really made a major decision for myself. It was usually a life of either quiet submission to the family, or of secret and inobedient actions behind the family's back. This time, I wanted neither. I really started to realize that I can no longer be constantly relying on the paths my family and I may have set for myself anymore. After hearing Steve's sermon this past Thursday night, I realized that I really need to start searching my Passion & Purpose in His name. The special one, just for me, that He alone has planned. So I've begun to embark on that journey to find out what they are.

So? I lingered around tonight in San Jose, not wanting to go home. I was avoiding this unavoidable moment. With the presence of friends, I calmed down and prayed. Did I ever tell you that I am always thankful beyond words when friends pray for me? Even when the words are not powerful or extravagent, I always knew their hearts are pure and loving. That is why I am always thankful for their hearts, not their words. I finally went home and prayed on the drive home. Among my prayers were that I would praise Him no matter the outcome. I got home only to find in disappointment that my mum has not returned home yet. I went over the Urban Immersion packet once more and opened the Bible to Luke 4 and read over the passage that Steve shared about. The garage door opened and I knew this is the moment. I walked over to my mum and calmy told her about my decision. She asked a few questions about the trip and I patiently answered her. She asked me twice why I want to do these things, and I told her about my heart wanting to serve and step out of my old comfort zone. She listened and agreed to let me know.

Did God just let me go on this trip? I believe He did. The conversation went so smoothly that I kept praising God as I walked back to my room. I immediately shared the good news to the friends that were with me tonight, and prayed to praise Him.

This week will be of preparation of both the heart and the mentality. God is good.